Wedding Night Jitters ?
So, your big day has arrived and all the preparations are in place for your dream wedding; the banquet hall, decorations, music, caterers, your bridal dress, jewellery and make up etc. are all set. But have you given any thought to your wedding night?
Your wedding day is going to be far and away the most exciting and tiring day of your life. There is going to be a lot of nerves and tension about how it will all pan out and in the lead up to it you and your fiancé will have discussed all about the wedding shopping, the venue, and guest list etc. and more probably not discussed anything about your wedding night.
The time when all the rituals and celebrations have taken place, all your family and guests have gone home and the two of you are finally alone, it will finally dawn on you both that it’s time to get intimate and After enduring the stress and excitement of your special day you both may feel very nervous and tired which may set both of you towards disappointment about what should be a very special night.
How you go about this special night will go a long way in setting up the tone of your sex life for the rest of your marriage.
Here are a few pointers to help you overcome your wedding night jitters:
- Realistic Expectations: The hype around wedding night sex due to movies, internet, and peer pressure is just that- HYPE. Don’t put any overt pressure on yourself or your partner to perform. Just RELAX! This is the key to it all. Don’t strive for or expect perfection when it comes to sex as it will only lead to disappointment.
Remember that both you and your spouse have had a long and tiring day and you may not have the energy for a wild and adventurous romp in bed.
- Just Talk: Take your time talking, discussing the day that just went by especially any humorous happenings. This will help both of you relax and be comfortable with each other.
- Take it Slow: Don’t rush into lovemaking. Refrain from ripping each other’s clothes off the moment you are alone. Start by hugging, kissing and cuddling, let things takes their own course.
Now here are some tips on setting up the mood for great wedding night sex:
Tips for the Groom:
- Help your wife undress: Indian wedding outfits can be very cumbersome and heavy for the bride, with countless tucks and pins. Help her with this being gentle and patient at the same time. Caress her gently, she will certainly appreciate this.
- Bubble Bath: There is nothing like a nice sensuous warm bubble bath to get rid of the weariness of the day. Invite your wife for a leisurely bubble bath with nice aromatics, this will distress both of you put you both in the mood for sex.
- Appreciate her efforts: If your wife has made the effort to put on sexy lingerie to set you in the mood, then make sure to compliment her on the way she looks and let her know the effect it’s having on you.
- Create the ambience: Set the ball rolling by having a chilled bottle of champagne along with chocolate covered strawberries. These again will help you both relax and heighten the mood for sex. Remember not to overdrink.
- Be Gentle and patient: Your wife may be very nervous about having sex especially if it’s her first time. So be very gentle with her when you make love, have a water based lubricant like KY jelly on hand if she feels pain due to dryness.
Tips for the Bride:
- Lingerie: Take as much care while selecting sexy lingerie as you would when selecting your wedding dress. Wearing tastefully revealing lingerie can really up the ante in your efforts to create a sexy atmosphere on your wedding night.
- Appreciate his efforts: Show your appreciation for the extra effort and care that your husband is making to make this a special night for you, doing this will encourage him to do more.
- Lose your inhibitions: Don’t be shy, don’t ask him to turn off the lights while you undress etc. Be comfortable in your own skin. Being nervous is natural especially if it’s your first time but don’t let this come in your way.
- Don’t worry about his erection: Men can be under a lot of stress and pressure to perform and this can sometimes lead them to not be able to get and maintain an erection. In-case this happens, just cuddle and snuggle with him and don’t make him conscious of this problem and this will more often than not get it up again.
The key to having great wedding night sex is to relax and to be comfortable with each other. Be patient and responsive to your spouse’s needs and mood. Having realistic expectation of this experience is very important. Don’t force the other person to do things that they are comfortable with (foreplay etc.).
And for some reason or another you don’t end up having great sex (due to being tired, sleepy or nerves), don’t worry too much about it as you can always make up for it the next morning.
As the saying goes “Practice makes perfect”; you both have the rest of your married life to experiment and trying out different things to spice up your sex life. Make the most of this once in a lifetime experience by enjoying each other’s company and making each other feel really special. If you do this the sex will take care of itself and be even more enjoyable than what you imagined.