Don’t underestimate the effect infidelity can have on your relationship. No matter how strong your relationship is, it is almost a given that having an extramarital affair will cause it to strain to its breaking point. The first impulse for the wronged partner is to walk out of the relationship, but before he or she does that, they need to know that there a few things that they can do salvage the relationship and get it to heal and infact make their relationship come out much stronger than before.
The first thing that needs to be understood is the loss of trust, this is a crucial factor for any successful relationship, especially a marriage and nothing causes loss of trust than an extramarital affair. The wronged partner will be emotionally devastated, leading them to become upset, loose concentration and even cause depression.
Whatever the reason for the act of infidelity, it is imperative for both partners to do some introspection and identify the role they played in letting their relationship reach that point.
Here are a few pointers on how to get the relationship back on track and towards some semblance of normalcy:
1. The affair needs to be stopped completely. This the first step to getting the relationship back on track. No real healing can take place if the extramarital affair is not stopped straight away.
2. Both partners need to realize that the recovery process will be no walk in the park. It is going to painful, take time and require a lot of understanding and patience.
3. The partner who cheated needs to know that regaining the trust of their partner will most probably include them being held accountable for their whereabouts, talk openly about the details and reasons leading upto the affair if their partner wants to do that.
4. The person who committed infidelity needs to make a firm commitment to their partner never to repeat the mistake again and analyze what made them do the act and change their behaviour or thinking to never be tempted again in the future.
5. The person who cheated needs to give the betrayed partner as much time as they need to recover from the betrayal, not be in a rush to move forward, respect the fact that the recovery will be dependent on the timetable of the wronged partner and not theirs.
6. Finally seek help from a qualified marriage counselor to help smooth things over, a good counselor will help both partners overcome emotional issues and help identify the root cause that led to the act of infidelity and in most cases make both the partners come out emotionally stronger after therapy.
Sometimes the feeling of betrayal is too much for a person to bear and come to grips with, inspite of therapy, leading to no other option but to terminate the relationship.
But most marriages can be saved if both partners are willing to work on it, the person who cheated needs to make a firm commitment to be never be unfaithful again and the wronged partner needs to be willing to forgive. The help of a good marriage counselor and the support of family and friends is crucial to achieve this. Do not hesitate to call out for help and start believing in each other again.