In my years of practice as a sexologist and a sex therapist, one question that is asked a lot of times by couples in therapy is the inability of the female to achieve an orgasm during sexual intercourse. The misconceptions surrounding this leads to a lot of discontent in what normally is a very healthy sexual relationship.
The preconceived notions about the female orgasm make a lot of men insecure if their partner is unable to achieve it during intercourse. They may feel inadequate about their performance and the size of their organ, feel as if their partner is not aroused enough by them, etc, all of which may lead to performance anxiety and cause them to suffer temporary symptoms of erectile dysfunction.
The female on the other hand may feel under pressure to work towards achieving an orgasm and this may distract her from enjoying the act of lovemaking and eventually may put her off the whole thing.
What both partners need to realize in this situation is that men and women are built differently both physically and emotionally. A women’s body unlike a man’s body does not lend itself to being stimulated easily towards achieving an orgasm during intercourse. She may require being stimulated manually or orally to do so.
They have to realize that this the reality for the majority of women. There is nothing wrong with her if she can’t achieve an orgasm during intercourse. And men need to understand that this has nothing to do with their performance in bed or the size of their organ.
The best way to counter this issue is to communicate freely and understand each others emotional and physical desires. The key is to keep an open mind and do whatever is necessary to enjoy the whole process of lovemaking; from foreplay to the climax. Doing so will not only make the inability of the female to achieve an orgasm during intercourse a non issue but also get both the partners to become closer to each other physically and emotionally.